Communist Party Slips Into Alcohol Induced Coma

News broke today that the Communist Party appears to have fucked off down the pub for a piss up and drank their weights in alcohol, thus making them unable to vote on any bills or bother turning into work in the first instance by getting completely wankered.

One political analyst has suggested that the best way to be content with being in a coalition government is to 'get off your arse and do some fucking work'.

The pub crawl featured u/SolidBlues downing yagerbombs and u/OKELEUK 'being a proper lad' by snorting 12 lines of cocaine, an anonymous source can reveal.

Footage released by the BBC earlier this week showing various members of the party breaking into London Zoo and injecting heroin into penguins 'for the laff, innit' has drawn criticism from the electorate.

One member of the House was quoted as saying that they 'didn't like the narcissistic cunts anyway' and was hoping that their next move would be to 'drop out of the coalition and off the fucking planet'.

Meanwhile, the pseudo-intellectual teenagers in the Government are being truly edgy and to the bone by mocking the Commies with their God complex and Mary Poppins references. Despite this, they have not realised that they are still in a stagnant four-way coalition government with the Scottish Nationalist Ponces.