Source
r/breakingmom•
typingthings

Damned if you stay, damned if you go

kid rant

Little Punk is just coming up on 14 mos, so I know we haven't even gotten to the really good annoying phases yet, but.

We're currently in the phase where there are two types of places in the world: Boring Safe Places, and Interesting Death Traps (closely related to the three categories of things in the world: Boring Safe Items That Belong To Me; Interesting Things I Can Damage Myself With; and Things That Belong To Other People -- guess which two are the most fun).

He can walk pretty well now, so after an hour or two the house and yard are basically tiny jail cells in his opinion (especially when he's not allowed to play with any of the good stuff, like knives or the bucket we use to clean up the dog poop). But every where else we go -- the park, museums, the zoo -- all he wants to do is put random stuff in his mouth, fall down stairs, and reach into trash cans.

So my choices are to stay home and face the inevitable afternoon meltdown, or take him out and walk the fine line between helicopter parent and casual suicide observer.

I just want to go to the playground, sit on a bench, and bask in the semi-guilt of staring at my phone for a while instead of my kid. Is that so much to ask?

Posted Sep 25, 2015, 10:25 PM UTC

1811
Maegwin79•

Haha. my second kid is like this. My first was a pretty cautious child and still is. Number Two Son has zero sense of self-preservation. And he's a climber. He's 13 months and yesterday I caught him stacking up toys inside his playpen so he could stand on them and attempt to escape. He doesn't want the Duplos, he wants to choke himself to death on the Legos. He doesn't want his 100 baby toys that are bright and make music, he wants to stick his tongue in the electrical outlet.

So I have no advice. But I feel you. God, how I feel you.

7
typingthingsOPTime is an illusion. Nap time doubly so.•

Lol, it's good to know not every kid is like this at least! But yeah, we just had to reconfigure the living room because he figured out how to climb up on the couch. And he has no fear of falling off of things. I thought that was, like, an instinct, but if so he doesn't have it at all lol.

2
Kitsunefyreraising her geeky•

Mine is 20 months, I still helicopter. Until she learns how to reliably climb up and down things, I'm just stuck. I try to give her some independence, but she can't climb ladders (use your feet not your knees!) and the best slides are up a ladder. And she doesn't seem to understand cliffs which scares the shit out of me.

3
typingthingsOPTime is an illusion. Nap time doubly so.•

Sounds exactly like mine! He's way more ambitious than he is capable, so I have to stay basically in arm's reach. And the no fear of falling! Our bed is like three feet up and he goes straight for the edge, full speed. I'm thinking, you've already fallen off of the couch and cried, how are you not worried about this now!?

2
Kitsunefyreraising her geeky•

Mine took a tumble down the stairs, all 14... She's got a healthy fear of edges, but I'm not sure she knows where she ends... She's pretty clumsy.
Edit: so she fears stairs, but gets crazy close to drops that are taller than me like she doesn't know it's like a really fucking huge stair. And then not knowing her own space, yeah. Maybe in 6 months...

2
brmoraisinsdelight2 little girls, 1 'what you doing, mummy?' and 1 snoozy boozer.•

Do you have any soft play centres near you? They're basically enclosed spaces with padded climbing structures, lots of exploring to be done all within a soft bubble.

3
typingthingsOPTime is an illusion. Nap time doubly so.•

I recently learned of one, not super near me but easy enough to get to. I'll have to remember to check that out. Thanks!

2
brmoraisinsdelight2 little girls, 1 'what you doing, mummy?' and 1 snoozy boozer.•

We've got at least 5 within a 20 min drive, they're pretty common in the UK and are amazing! Although they could do with improving the cafe facilities, they tend to be greasy spoonesque.

2
typingthingsOPTime is an illusion. Nap time doubly so.•

That's awesome, and that does sound like the way my friend described the cafe attached to this one too; better for getting some space from the little ones (you can watch them on a cctv in the cafe) than for the actual fare.

2
lucyfour1 Bobman 5/2014•

My son fucking LOVE trash. It is so bizarre, as soon as he sees one, he runs towards it. I have no advice really, I'm too stoned to think of any, but comiseration(is that spelled correct?) Is okay too, right?

2
typingthingsOPTime is an illusion. Nap time doubly so.•

Haha, absolutely! It is nuts to me, we'll be at the playground surrounded by all this equipment and other kids and he points all excited at the first trash can he sees and runs for it like it's birthday cake lol.

1