lucyfour

Anyone else excited for the fall down?

I don't think anything disgusts or offends me anymore. While I guess that could be okay, since it makes me stronger, it also has the unfortunate side effect of not being able to feel positive emotions either.

That fire in carmel/big sur is covering the bay with those gross yellow clouds. The ambiance is kind of nice though.

The lights of the city are fueled by the dreams of the youth.

Sleep well children.

I'm not sure what mine is. I have all these ideas and thoughts that I think others would like to hear, but is that just the narcissism of my generation infecting me? Am I special or just a culmination of years of abuse and hope for something greater?

I always wished my parents would send me away somewhere, it's not like the liked having me around anyway. To go somewhere new, experience new places and people, to figure out what I wanted from life. But they didn't and I never got any of those things. I remain in the place I was born, trapped and broken, never to realize any potential I may have had.

I have no purpose maybe. Like everything else in this world, I'm just floating along waiting

The internet is supposed to be this crazy place where everything is seen and saved for... posterity? I'm not sure, I don't have the answers to life's big mysteries. What I do know is that probably only a few of you will come to my boring corner of monitor space and when you do hopefully you realize that there is nothing to see here and walk away <3

When I was a kid my dad was a plumbing contractor. Despite what a dick he is, he was pretty good at his trade and worked a lot. He often brought home the empty water heater boxes for me to have. It seems strange, but finding out that he brought one home was a very exciting occasion in my short childhood.

It was always the same. I carried the box to the front yard, laid it on the side so I could crawl in, and then rocked it back to standing. Like sitting at the bottom of a well, I would lay there for hours staring at the small slice sky above and dream of when I would get rescued.

Except, I wasn't stuck. I was in there of my own volition, and yet I prayed and hoped that someone would come r

Ayy LMAO

I felt real, genuine happiness as I was driving away for my from my ex's house after picking up papacito. As a little context, he broke up with me when I was 5 months pregnant because I expected him to get his shit together for our son. He told me that he just didn't love me anymore because I wanted to change him (read as, I asked him to look for a more stable job and not stay out every night til 4am getting stoned and playing video games). He was childish and I worked at making things work with him for way longer than I should have.

So now we live apart, I've noticeably lost some weight, and have just generally been trying to improve myself. I decided to treat myself to some new designer u

Tl;dr: my kid is a jerk, had his dad come pick him up, got locked out of house, lemons were the key, and now I am in bed drinking and crying.

It's almost 10 am and I'm laying in bed drinking a beer. I just couldn't today. Son got up at 5 fucking pissed. After being up for an hour around 12:30 am, which he rarely does so I thought he might sleep in today. We Co sleep and share a room, so his play area is right next to the bed and usually he will play or watch some max and Ruby until I'm fully awake. Nope, not today. Today was angry cry because you: won't watch me play/won't let me throw my clothes everywhere/I can't get into the closet/ you won't let me beat you over the head with your o

Don't worry, it's not used lol. He just found it while unzipping every pocket on his diaper back pack and decided that it was his new toy. Whatever kid, as long an I can clean the kitchen without having to hold you the whole time. Now my only dilemma is if I get some coffee when I'm done or just skip straight to beer...

These fucks I live with are the worst, ladies. I'm currently living with my ex and his family (mom, dad, brother, sister, and for the last couple weeks, grandma). For the past seven months I have been trying desperately to get this kid to respect boundaries, using a reward/punishment type system to instill good behaviors in him. Does anyone else respect the rules that my ex and I set for our child? Of fucking course they don't.

One of those boundaries is no climbing on the table. Guess what this tiny jerks favorite thing to do is? Yea, and God forbid you tell him awful words like "no" or "stop". That just makes the inevitable tantrum 1000x worse. And when said tantrum takes place, I put him

Ladies, I have no one to tell this to in real life and I'm on mobile so I can't link it, but last week I made a post about getting asked out the fist time since I've been single. He's super hot, 6'5", and just a really cool person. Unfortunatly, he is now moving back home in a couple months, so we decided to hang out last night. It was a last minute plan to just drink a couple beers after both of us had a shitty day...and ended with us in a hotel room.

I feel strangely okay about it, but just really weird. It was my first time spending the night away from my son and it was great. I drank beer, smoked cigarettes, got laid, and slept in! It doesn't even feel like real life, but it was exactl

Last night, for the first time in about 2 and a half years, I went out with a coworker bar hopping. There was a group of us, all girls and one guy R. It was my first time meeting him and we clicked immediately. He's super cool, into gaming, and has a similar sense of humor to me. Unbeknownst to me, my coworker had been trying to get us to meet because she thought we would be a good couple.

Well, I guess her plan worked because he asked me to lunch and got my number. Which is weird, because he's pretty attractive and I'm a frumpy over weight single mom who still lives with the baby daddy. And I keep trying to just go with it, but my brain keeps making up reasons why I shouldn't date this guy

You guys, like a 14 yo girl I just can't even right now.

My son's father is as gullible as they come. For the time being we have kinda sorta reconciled due to financial reasons. We are trying to save as much as we can to so we can get an apartment and move out of his shitty parents house.

Before getting to the actual story, I feel I need to explain something about his up bringing. His parents were both 18 when they had him and we're in no way ready to be parents, along with his dad being a controlling narcissist. He doesn't let her drive a car or even learn how to and likes to keep her and all of their kids very ignorant to the world. P's (my son's father) brother is so painfully awkw