The Train

Breathing heavily,
Inhaling the pain.
Seeing blurry,
Crying in the rain.
Feeling it the last time,
The blood in the vein.

Walking slowly,
Towards the train.

I would really appreciate any feedback

Feedback:
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/3uz7tn/all_these_dreams_now_theyre_dust/cxj2su3
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/3uz63q/college_dream_feedback_please/cxj3990