Ugh, guys it's been one of those days :(

Tl;dr: my kid is a jerk, had his dad come pick him up, got locked out of house, lemons were the key, and now I am in bed drinking and crying.

It's almost 10 am and I'm laying in bed drinking a beer. I just couldn't today. Son got up at 5 fucking pissed. After being up for an hour around 12:30 am, which he rarely does so I thought he might sleep in today. We Co sleep and share a room, so his play area is right next to the bed and usually he will play or watch some max and Ruby until I'm fully awake. Nope, not today. Today was angry cry because you: won't watch me play/won't let me throw my clothes everywhere/I can't get into the closet/ you won't let me beat you over the head with your own phone/won't let me hit or kick you or pull your hair/won't let me throw your shit around cause I'm pissed/etc. forever. I have bruises and cuts from him hitting, scratching, and biting out of anger. I just don't know what to do anymore.

And the best part is he is only does this with me and is a perfect fucking angel with anyone else. Everytime I ask his father if he gets the same abuse he is shocked and doesn't really believe son is doing that. I get he is a toddler, I really do, but he has shown he understands when you talk to him, unless it's me who he just ignores. As soon as he starts acting up and I say stop or no or don't, he won't even look at me anymore when I speak. If I try to stop his from destroying everything he loses his mind. It's fucking killing me and I don't know what to do about it, rewards don't work, praising good/punishing bad behaviors don't work, he just laughs and thinking it's a game when I start crying because he punched me in the eye again and I say stop.

And to add the cherry to the shit sandwich that is today, when I took him out to his dad's car, one of my roommates left thinking I had a key and locked me out. With no wallet or phone. So I had to wake up my other roommate, who is very sick and was passed the fuck out. After knocking and ugly crying for 30 mins, the only thing I could do, and thank christ it worked, was throw lemons at her bedroom window. Just picture that for a second, some one crying and yelling out for her friend while throwing lemons at a house. That was me an hour ago.

I didn't think I could break anymore guys, but I could and I did. Really considering full blown alcoholism or just giving his father full custody, because clearly I'm not cut out for this mom thing.