A Pinewood Box, Of Sorts
Standing in a dark room, holding a flashlight
Beneath an old discoball
Throwing geometry across these basement walls.
Attending a party, alone.
Slowdancing on the inside, stealing the spotlight
From no one else at all.
Sympathetic theatre crowds created that fourth wall.
Obeisance, as the curtains close.
Put the nails in this pinewood box, of sorts.
[1] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/43yyic/we_get_it_poets/czolpda) [2] (https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/42y6pz/they_say_you_should_never_meet_your_heroes_first/czegukz)
Posted Feb 5, 2016, 7:51 AM UTC · edited
22
I like what's there although I wouldn't mind there being more. The openness is good insofar as it left me to take it in my own direction but without a more direct pointer as to where you might want it to lead it's more a collection of nice lines waiting for meaning to be imposed. Not that that's a bad thing but it does make it something which won't necessarily stick in my mind or attach itself to any feeling or idea.
Alright. Thank you!