Lost in his shadowed mind

I awaken from my cot.
The legs creak,
like my bones-feeling each step
on the floor.

Imprisoned life, is
built like iron bars: forged in
fire-lifeless ash.

After its done I will have
earned freedom;
injected chemicals-flame
then to dust.

I put on my clothes,
like they are a grim disguise.
(It will all be burned).

The bars open-I head for
the shower.
The water is cold-fleeting
and routine.

I stand there cleaning
my hair-fighting a flaky
scalp-like fire cares.

I leave the water running and exit.
I check out my teeth
in the mirror-they look dull-eyes are
red-wet-dry-repeat.

Later I have a visitor.
Oh who will it be?
Someone who wants something-selfish
Tell me oh tell me!

I want a cigarette first though,
Nicotine is real.

(Hear my crying soul through silence
I am soon to die!
Stop your speech-hear, I need guidance!)

Suddenly I am elated,
How unexpected.
Another face to see that my
Death is soon to be.
One more set of eyes, to shed tears
With me-I want your
Empathy-sympathy-see me!
Dammit I exist!

(My hold over you is complete
Insecure fool-joy?
Not for trying, your soul is weak.
Despicable toy!)

Where the hell is my lighter!
Hell is life!
Where are my cigarettes and
my fire?

My life shall be cleansed-laid to
rest-fire-
chemicals-death-fire-ash.
Laid to rest.

And now my mind is,
lucid-I bite my thumb then
snub the lighter-click-
click-click-it's out of fluid.
 

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