Source
r/breakingmom•
E-Unit

I want to hear your single mom love stories

warmfuzzies?

It's been almost 10 months since I lost my husband to suicide. My daughter and I are doing great all things considered. We've established a new normal and most days are pretty damn good.

I'm still doing counseling regularly, I go to a support group for suicide loss, I have amazing support from family and friends but that hole, of having a partner is enormous. I've been dating quite a bit the last 8 months or so. At first it was just casual but I've been more intentionally trying to find a partner and it just seems completely impossible. I'm young (27) but having a child and a dead husband just seems to be far too complicated for most men, even though I'm very successful professionally, financially stable and have gotten to a good place emotionally. I'm having my physical needs met in an ongoing fwb type situation but he and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum politically and that's a big deal breaker for me with compatability.

It took me so long to get the courage to leave. And when I did, he killed himself. I guess I just stupidly thought that there'd be someone out there for me.

I'd love to hear your stories of finding love as a single mom to give me a little hope and help me to be patient.

Posted Feb 24, 2016, 4:20 PM UTC

2514
VladTheSoviet•

Well I've found love as a single mom. It comes with all the snoring and body hair as a man, but with no pesky relationship expectations. Stupid dog. Anyways...

It's been 3 years for me with no relationship. I'm just trying to find happiness in being alone. It helps!

15
ikbentweeI'm not a regular Mom: I'm a lazy Mom!•

I've heard a lot of people say that they didn't find a steady relationship until they quit their fwb relationship. Not sure why this is the case. Maybe it makes you more focused. Maybe your dates can tell that you're having your physical needs met so there's none of that sexy pheromones floating around?

11
E-UnitOP•

That's super interesting. I hadn't considered that.

7
that-frakkin-toaster1 tantruming toddler and 1 on the way•

Um... Not me, persay, but my mom?

My sister was 8 when my mother met my father. They got married less than a year later and then had me and my younger brother.

My parents have seriously like the picture perfect marriage. My dad always says it is because even if their personalities aren't similar, their reactions to emergencies etc are.

I don't know much about their romance and how it was in the 80s, but 30 years later you can tell they still love each other very much. My dad adopted my sister when she was 9 or 10, and the two of them have an awesome relationship.

This probably isn't helpful in the immediate, as I don't have a love story for you or anything... But long term, know there is plenty of time to find someone and be happy. I wish I had some advice for how to find an accepting guy. But have hope.

8
E-UnitOP•

I really hope my story ends like your parents. I always pictured having my kids close together. My daughter just turned 2 and it's so hard to see all the people in my life having their 2nd and 3rd kids, knowing my daughter may very well be in elementary school before that ever happens for me. Just trying to adjust the life I had pictured for myself.

It gives me a lot of hope to know your mom met someone so wonderful and that they have a great marriage. Thanks for being willing to share.

2
IanthinaTIL that BroMo doesnt stand for Mom Bros•

Not me, but my MIL. She was married to my boyfriends dad, shortly after bf was born, his dad left. Two years later (maybe three or four, but bf was calling him daddy when he was two, and he remembers the wedding) she was married to the man my bf call dad and who I get to call my FIL. It'll happen!

3
E-UnitOP•

<3 Thank you for sharing. That helps to know others have found love.

1
littlered2•

I was a single mama with a violent ex, i met my FHIL through a random facebook post, he was a friend of a friend, but i remember him from years ago cause we used to be in the same circles.... We started texting that night and ive never gone more than 24hrs contacts since, initally he was fwb ansd neither of us wanted to break down the walls around our hearts to admit to even wanting more, but we did, and eventually admitted it to ourselves... We're getting married in 51 days :)

3
clevermissI'm not actually very smart...•

So I was a single mom with a deadbeat for a child's father and limited options. Rather than move back in with my parents I decided to take a leap of faith and become roommates with a friend in a town an hour away.

First day in my new apt. Went to grocery store. Ran into an old coworker I hadn't seen in years. He asked me on a date and a year and a half later we were engaged. Been married almost a year now. My son calls him dad and his kids now live with us and seem to like me a lot.

He's far from perfect as you ladies know. He's an alcoholic and he struggles with recovery sometimes. But we love each other and we are happy.

3
caramelisation•

No idea about dating, but I just want to say that the rest of your situation (financial, career, emotional, FWB even) is an inspiration. Congratulations! I'm so happy those things have worked out so well. I'm in an abusive relationship (both getting domestic violence counselling) with a guy who mentions suicide-if-alone every few months. Maybe I'm going to be you when I grow up. :)

Good luck with dating, and yeah that is an interesting and logical comment above about FWB being a potential cause.

2
E-UnitOP•

That made me cry. Thank you. It's hard sometimes to remember just how far we've come and how hard I've worked to get here. I should focus more on that then what feels like is missing.

Good on you for getting counseling. If you ever want to talk about it, you're welcome to PM me. Deciding to get out of a dependent and unhealthy relationship was the best thing I ever did

2
mhayu•

Not mine but my mom. My dad passed away when i was a yearold (brother was 2 yearolds). She married my stepdad about 2 years after. They had the strongest marrieage known to mankind. My stepdad passed away 10 years ago, she never quite recover from that.

2
falalalacy•

Dating as a single mom is difficult. I had my oldest son when I was a teenager so I thought I'd never find anyone. It was hard. I realized that no one would be right for me unless they were right for my son which lead me to dodge ALOT of bullets. It may seem like there is no hope but there is, you just get saved from alot of drama by the guys who are afraid of commitment and children. You don't want those guys anyways. You deserve happiness and love, I hope with all my heart that you find it.

2
MadamNerdExtension cords are not for chewing•

Ooh, this was my mom! She and my dad divorced when I was 12. I'm 26 now and she's been with my stepdad for 6ish years. I know that's a long gap between relationships, but I think that was mainly due to the fact that she didn't consider dating for a long time. At any rate, they're totally made for each other and I'm glad she found him.

1
geddycorn86Well,Fuck•

I found this just as I was about to quit for the night But I do have one for you Just need a reminder tomorrow :)

1