On top of the anxiety and depression, I think I'm becoming bulimic.

You're owning up to a sense of worthlessness. I can relate, I have dealt with depression and body image issues. I didn't get over it until I stopped being helpless to messes caused by my experiences as a child. The messes in my life may not have been caused by me, but I had to be willing to clean up the mess, or just life my life in a trash heap. Maybe these issues are a result of bullying or abusive treatment of some sort, realizing I was angry by people treating me this way, and felt content to be such a worthless person in my own thinking - somehow it became clear to me that being that way was worse than the people and situations that wronged me. I let circumstances rule my thinking, if I was depressed and sick and couldn't help it then I would just say fuck it. Once I realized that messes in my life either caused by forces beyond my control or within were mine to clean up, I had to be willing to do it. As I said, I was abused and for years dealt with horrible depression as a result, I made foolish decisions because I didn't care about myself, I didn't care about myself because no one else cared about me. That is worse than those who mistreated me, I had only validated their shortcomings. Being angry and demanding abusers to clean up the mess they made is pointless when they just make an even greater mess. It was hypocritical to be angry at people or the circumstances when I was living my life according to them, it's like saying "I hate my abusers" or "I hate my life" and in turn being self abusive and not caring about life. I was self abusive because I was abused, I hated my life because I didn't have the life I wanted and I wasn't who I wanted to be. You can only be who you want to be and value your life once you realize that you and you alone are responsible to make it what you desire it to be. That's what I experienced, I was faced with the reality that if I continue on this way I will die, then everything they said about me would be true. I would die and the story told would be what a troubled boy I was, and that pissed me off. Why was I trying so hard for acceptance by finding ways to validate my depression and self abuse? The same people who said what a troubled boy I was will not have lived on in shame by thinking they were at fault, if they had possesed empathy then they would not have been so cruel in the first place. Also, I would have killed myself! I was ten times more self abusive then they had been abusive! No one would have said after I had died that I was worthwhile. When you realize that every person, even the kindest people can leave a mess what excludes us from the same? People leave messes sometimes, some harmless and some much more threatening. The mess you are making right now is yours, so do you want to throw away your life in a mess? If someone said how worthless you are, do you hope that by throwing away your life they will somehow feel bad enough to change their opinion? After asking myself the same things, I realized that by throwing away my life I would make an even greater mess than anyone or anything else that had ever been in my life and completely validate the worthless assessment given to me. I hope you realize that value and being happy with your life is first what you make of it, and second being willing to do as little harm as possible. Believe it or not, someone somewhere sees you as being more valuable than you see yourself and treating yourself this way makes you an abuser of that person. They lay up at night and worry that you will harm yourself some more. Please don't do it, reverse the cycle. If you are angry, hurt, and upset about how you look don't become stay in the shape you are. No one can do it for you but you. I am older now, and time has taught me to look back and reflect, and what I know to be true is the harm we do to ourselves behind closed doors does more damage than we realize. My abusers knew that there was damage, but if they could know the extent of it maybe they would not have continued on in it. If someone calls you fat or ugly, and it hurts, why validate their ruthlessness by being ugly to yourself? I hope this helps, honestly I do. When we are young we think of beauty and value in such a limited scope like a poster of a swimsuit model on a wall or the picture on the screen. Beauty and worth can only be much more than skin deep, otherwise they cost only as much as a poster or a movie ticket.

I wish you well