[A4A] [Star Wars] Sex Wars: A New Hump

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….

#Sex Wars

"It is a period of sexual war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the frustrated Galactic Chastity Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DENIAL STAR, an armoured space station with enough frustration to destroy an entire planet’s libido.

Pursued by the Empire's unsated agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore sexual freedom to the galaxy...."

 

###Plot Synopsis

The galaxy is in a sexual war. Spies for the Rebel Ass-lliance have stolen plans to the Galactic Chastity Empire's Denial Star, a heavily armed space station capable of destroying entire planets’ libido. Rebel leader Princess Leia has the plans, but her ship is captured by sextroopers under the command of the frustrated Submission Lord, Denial Vader. Before she is captured, Leia hides the plans in the memory of an analmech droid, R2-D2, along with a holo-graphic recording. The droid flees to the surface of the desert planet Tatooine with fellow sex-droid C-3PO.

The sex-droids are captured by Jacking traders, who sell them to moisture farmers Owen and Beru Lars and their nephew, Luke Sexwalker. While cleaning R2-D2, Luke accidentally triggers part of Leia's message, in which she requests help from Disobei-Wan Kenobi. The next morning, Luke finds R2-D2 searching for Disobei-Wan, and meets Ben Kenobi, an old hermit who lives in the hills and reveals himself to be Disobei-Wan. Disobei-Wan tells Luke of his days as a Jedi Knight, former Galactic Republic perverts with supernatural sexual powers derived from a lustful energy called The Fuck who were wiped out by the Chastity Empire. Contrary to his uncle's statements, Luke learns that his father fucked alongside Disobei-Wan as a Jedi Knight. Disobei-Wan tells Luke that Vader was his former perverwan who turned to the submission side of the Fuck and collared Luke's father, Anakin. Disobei-Wan offers Luke his father's dildosaber, a Jedi weapon.

Disobei-Wan views Leia's complete message in private for ’reasons’, in which she begs him to take the Denial Star plans to her home planet of Analraan and give them to her father for anal-ysis, there were other things she begged for but Disobei-Wan remained silent about those. Disobei-Wan invites Luke to accompany him to Analraan and learn the ways of The Fuck. Luke declines, but changes his mind after discovering that Imperial sextroopers searching for C-3PO and R2-D2 have destroyed his home and collared his aunt and uncle. Disobei-Wan and Luke hire sextoy smuggler Han Solo and his Wookiee first mate Chewbacca to transport them to Analraan on Han's ship, the Millennium Fuckon.

Upon the Fuckon's arrival at the location of Analraan, the group discover that the planet’s libido has been destroyed by order of the Denial Star's commanding officer, Grand Muff Tarkin, as a show of power. The Fuckon is captured by the Denial Star's bondage beam and brought into its hang-ar bay. While Disobei-Wan goes to disable the bondage beam, Luke discovers that Leia is imprisoned aboard and, with the help of Han and Chewbacca, rescues her by breaking apart the bonds through a series of sexual acts. After several escapades, the group makes its way back to the Fuckon. Disobei-Wan disables the bondage beam through… means that a lone man shall not speak of and, on the way back to the Fuckon, engages in a dildosaber duel with Vader. Once he is sure the others can escape, Disobei-Wan allows himself to be collared. The Fuckon escapes the Denial Star, unknowingly carrying a tracking beacon, which the Empire follows to the Rebels' hidden base on Yavin IV.

The Rebels anal-yze the Denial Star's plans and identify a vulnerable fuckhole that connects to the station's main frustration reactor. Luke joins the Rebel ass-ault squadron, while Han collects his payment in the form of sexual favours for the transport and intends to leave, despite Luke's request that he stay and help. In the ensuing battle, the Rebels suffer exhaustion after several unsuccessful ass-ttack runs, leaving Luke one of the few pilots that has any stamina left. Vader leads a squad of TIED fighters and prepares to attack Luke's XXX-wing fighter, but Han returns and fires his special toys on the Imperials, sending Vader spiralling away in edging denial. Helped by guidance from Disobei-Wan's sexual spirit, Luke uses The Fuck and successfully buttfucks the Denial Star’s vulnerable fuckhole seconds before it can blow it’s load on the Rebel base to light it up in the greatest orgasm the galaxy has ever seen.

Leia awards Luke and Han with medals for their promiscuity as well as a free trip to Tatooine’s galaxy-famous Hilton Fucktel - a hotel built for one thing only: Fucking.

 

###The Jedi Code

There is no restraint, there is pleasure.

There is no ignorance, there is kink.

There is no passivity, there is sensuality.

There is no chastity, there is freedom.

There is no denial, there is The Fuck.

 

###The Submission Code

Pleasure is a lie, there is only chastity.

Through chastity, I gain strength.

Through strength, I gain frustration.

Through frustration, I gain submission.

Through submission, my chains are shackled.

The Fuck shall collar me.

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Parody Status: Closed

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May The Fuck be with you.