Mantra of an Alcoholic With a Broken Heart.

I tell myself,

I can call people,

I can summon rain,

master the seas,

and fight my fears.

But at the last hour night,

I lay alone,

nothing to cure this pain.

Then I see it.

My cure,

my talking potion,

setting my mind

to motion.

 

There are people who fix us all

Inside and out, body and soul.

Keep us safe, sheltered and grown.

Leave us broken, crumbled, and alone.

 

Sipping red like crazy.

Feeling nothing

but tipsy

and daisy.

My mind is free.

My filter is hazy.

And life,

talking,

living

is for once

so effortless,

so easy.

 

I look for you in books of adventures,

in long climbs and summer nights

but life is a tragedy, a solo dance,

a drama with no winners nor fights.

 

The third,

or forth.

I don’t remember the date

or my mother’s

maiden name.

Out of nothing

You show.

Out of nowhere

you go.

Words flow like streams

and I say

I love someone

I hate.

 

Morning.

 

The world scares me.

Tired.

Overwhelming brightness

from the world outside.

Million fears that strangle me.

Lights shifting persistently

Reminding me of how good

it once was.

Was.

A constant “was”

that no longer matters.

But in memories,

in the sour trenches

of nostalgia.

 

I fell in love with a boy but then he left

his dad got cancer and his mother died

“Everything is a state of mind” he once

said and we objected and laughed.

 

Nauseous.

Made a friend once.

Dizzy.

Was in love once

Messy.

Was.

Once.

I pour myself a cup

and say,

morning

and hello.

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4awh5v/part_of_me/d15ayix

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4au232/strangers/d15bll9