There are supposed to be stanza breaks at "Every light", "Bridge", "Rachel", and "Bright Rachel."

Looking at it a second time you're probably right.  Thanks for the feedback!

Nicely written but it felt a bit rushed, maybe could use some smoothening of details.

I like the urgency the poem sort of gives out but i feel like more words and details could be added to make the message clear.

This reads oddly and primarily as a series of non sequiturs.  I think you're referring to 'The Matrix' as the film, but that's not obvious in the piece.  I don't see the sense of everything being green if light is red/orange, the significance of capitalizing 'river', or the relevance of Brunhilde - since there's nothing to set the narrator up as Siegfried or similar.   

As others have said - there's an urgency to the phrasing, but little else.

It all goes green;

Green green green

Like the matrix.

I am earless, I am young, 

I am barely born.



Every light explodes in hues of red and orange,

The sounds are slow-mo

Like the matrix.



Bridge, oh beautiful Bridge!

Overlooking you from my petty balcony

With River of cars raging below me,

Is there any justice in this world?

Any reason I be denied your imminence,

Separated here

By this malicious River of cars?

Rachel!

Yes your face is here!

Yes, I can see you now


Atop the spires

Of that petty shallow bridge

Who merely twinkles

At your exuberant light.

Bright Rachel, 

My sun, my world,

I see you in the palace of that bridge,

A firestorm raging all around you.

Through moat of fire I shall rescue you,

My dead Brunhilde.

Critiques: 
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4jhwpb/mantra_of_an_alcoholic_with_a_broken_heart/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4jgtvb/the_robot/

Cloud Nine