Patient for you

I think the worst loneliness I have ever felt is the loneliness you feel when your lover is away. As if they have vanished from your world. I know this may sound needy or clingy but I know I am not the only one who has ever felt this sort of absence before. It's like you are completely loved one day, and the next all the love is gone. You find yourself moping around in your underwear drinking coffee and singing songs you shared with him just to make it seem as if he's in arms reach. You are there and I am here...what can I do? Wait. Be patient. And I will do so, but that does not take away this hole inside my chest. Being away is only temporary but my soul thinks you are away for good. Time moves slow. Days drag and nights are occupied to sitting in silence, wondering how you can stop thinking about how good it would be if it were his warm body you were curled up next to and not your pillows and blankets. I cause havoc in my own mind in the mornings reading the paper and imagining how you would smile and move the strands of hair out of my face. The way you would remember my coffee had to be black, 2 sugars not 3. Why are you not home yet? It's been about a month since I have kissed your lips and I'm yearning for them. We would talk about how extraordinary it would be once you would come home for good.

But now we argue about things that do not matter. Things we can control but feel the need to lash out about anyway. You are so worried I might leave, but I quiver at the thought you may change your mind and not come back.

Please come home. The promise of loving you unconditionally will certainly be kept and the fantasies of us growing stronger will end up being a reality. You are the reason I write at 4am. The reason my palms get sweaty when someone asks how I am doing.

No one will ever compare. And that is why I tell you I miss you so much.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4jj2hl/depressilepsy/d38cdds

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4joc8d/its_killing_me_inside/d38bxtv