Behold!

BEHOLD: Me

Master of in between

I am a mother

But not a mother

I am a girlfriend

But not a girlfriend

I am a writer

But not a writer

I am a victim

But not a victim.

BEHOLD:

Me

The unknowing middle ground

I am a mother because I gave birth

But not a mother, because I don't have a child

I am a girlfriend, because I love you

But not a girlfriend, because I don't want to be

I am a writer, because I commit my thoughts to paper

But not a writer because I never Share my words.

I am a victim because he hurt me

But not a victim because he didn't hurt me enough.

BEHOLD:

Me

The lost soul with no place to go

From the very begining I knew

I didn't know.

So I became the precocious 4 year old that would sit in your lap and flash her dimples while you told her she was verbose

I became the confident 6 year old that would sit on the curb with teenagers and act like I belonged

I became the silent student, never raising my hand, because I answered to many questions

I became the bully of a nice girl, so that I'd fit in.

I became the 13 year old that said to much because I didn't know when to stop

I became the 14 year old who's vocabulary was seemingly infinite, and she carried herself with ease

I became the 15 year old vice president of student council

A founding member of my schools NHS

A hard working teenager

On the outside people saw success, but alone I knew better.

I knew the dimples were a genetic defect and I was only verbose because my father was.

I knew the teenagers only liked me because I was a cute little girl and once I grew up they'd toss me aside

I knew the teacher didn't want me to raise my hand and all my peers thought I was stuck up.

I hated myself for bullying my friend, because I wanted to be liked by the pretty girls

I knew I would talk too much, but I didn't want people to stop listening.

At 14 sure, some people were fooled, but I knew not everybody believed it.

at 14 a 50 year old man told me he was in love with me.

At 14 I had sex for the first time with a 20 year old man.

At 15 things got better for a bit.

At 17 I moved out of my childhood home and into a car.

Now, at 18 I'm lost.

ttp://reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4lj8yd/failure/d3nvrys

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4lj9yd/the_rabbit_hole/d3nvq