Simpler Times

It's so funny to me,
how much has changed since I was a toddler,
slipping on a slide,
falling onto hot blades of grass,
cutting into my small arms like they were made of butter.

My laugh,
light as construction paper,
bright as LEDs.
It seems as if that laugh,
has gone down an octave with each sin I've committed.

It never was supposed to be like this.
My mother never pictured her son falling like Lucifer,
or drowning in his own sins,
crying himself to sleep,
leaving oceans of salty tears behind him.

Everything began one day.
A day that could never have happened.
But appeared like a ghost in the hallway of a haunted mansion.

A hospital,
beds made of punishing plywood,
slapping my back like an angry girlfriend.

A young boy.
Innocent, untouched,
like an unpeeled banana.

He fell from his bed.
It was all over in a single instant.
Life is like the last five minutes of a great movie,
You have no clue when it will end,
but it could conclude at any moment simply to end your joy.

It shouldn't have happened.
I know I couldn't have stopped it.
But forgiveness to self lies somewhere far from me.
It lies worlds away from me,
lying with it is my parents,
my family,
my friends.

Forgiveness, family, friends,
they called for me.
Searched for me in the jungle, the forest, the marsh
The real Zach was an MIA soldier,
missing in action trying to locate a train of thought that didn't bring tears to his eyes.

The saddest moment,
was when they realized,
the old Zach, He died.
He died to the sound of a young boy's parent's wails.
He died to the sound of his own wails.

Hey everybody, after like 3-4 days, I'm back. Today marks a year since I returned from China, from the most traumatic experience of my life (next few poems will delve more into it). This poem was especially hard to write considering my PTSD from the event, so I really hope everyone likes it. As usual, you guys are the greatest;)! Have a great one everybody! https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4nhido/one_of_these_daysisolated/d44fmrb
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4nj67e/lost_dog/d44fg3j