one time i thought i had hiv

one time

i thought i had hiv.

i didnt.

but i thought i did.

theres this place

where girls

get told to not have sex

and boys

get big gold

condoms and pamphlets.

i went

to go get

a cheek swab

and the dots on a stick.

it was nice

all jesus like

but it was real nice.

they had

old furniture

that smelled like

my grandmothers ohio home

and had

a lot of

lavender

and leaf green

and old oak

wood feel to the place.

i filled out

papers on stacks.

and i mostly lied.

never admitted to being gay.

i didnt

say i did

drugs or drank

or even used one too many apps.

but i did.

and i did

the dance

with half truths

and made out

like a dove and peaced off

to my next shenanigan.

two months

go by

and i get a

missed red call,

the one that freaks you out all like.

so i beg

a guy

one i didnt

know at all

to join me to

the clinic.

it felt better that way.

we get there

and they said

i lied.

true.

but i lied and said no i didnt.

they said i

have hiv.

i said i didnt.

so i scream

and cry

and hit the ground with my fists.

a silverback

on a tantrum

cause he knows

the hunter is about to shoot him in the face.

i want a second.

i say

i also want

a second

opinion

so they agree.

they send me to a place to aid aids.

an aids project.

to test for hiv.

i didnt have hiv

but i thought

i did.

i dont.

but i thought i did for 6 whole weeks after that day.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4nkdkx/to_sam_a_figment_of_my_imagination_and_the/d45lwle

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4nnmvc/codependancing/d45lsaw