In the end everything turns to dust. Even the shiniest love starts to rust; Forever is a lie.
Today's love is tomorrow's wind.
Take my hand for what could be. A moment. Nothing more. What more if we do nothing? What more if it dies alone? Never known. Never understood. Never ever.
Posted Jul 10, 2016, 11:15 AM UTC
In the end everything turns to dust.
Even the shiniest love starts to rust;
Forever is a lie.
Today's love is tomorrow's wind.
Take my hand for what could be.
A moment. Nothing more.
What more if we do nothing?
What more if it dies alone?
Never known.
Never understood.
Never ever.
It's cliched. But the honesty is admirable.
"Today's love is tomorrows wind"
I really like that line for some reason. It's simple, but also holds a lot of meaning. It's not always true, but is always a possibility. Love can die in a matter of seconds.
Try to have a bit more structure in your rhythm - I can't pick any rhythms out at all. The lengths of your sentences vary a lot, to the point where it almost seems like normal speech.
Thank you for the comments!
How do I link my feedback?! Also the poem didn't format as intended... typical newbie!!
There's a formatting guide on the sidebar. I'd suggest editing the main post to fit your intended formatting and add your feedback links to it at the same time.