r/OCPoetry•
adj8103

Seeker

Feedback Received!

Home seems to me an unclear idea
Which is vague like an echo long passed.
Still, I find myself ever roving in search-
Often the guest. Always marked tourist.

I keep fingers stretched toward a horizon
Where I imagine my lonely words will find
solace; a sincere ear in which to fall.
Isn’t that what it means to feel at home?

I want a place to relax from ambition
A peak or a riverbed to steady my mind,
But like the ocean’s love for shore,
Gravity and time force sad withdraws.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4tjcdc/love_poem_2/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/4thu03/abandoned_earth/

Posted Jul 19, 2016, 4:44 AM UTC

34
SmallFishBigWorld•

I enjoy the vagueness of this poem. Reading it was soothing, and didn't hone into any specifics. It kept it applicable to more than just one scenario, and the choice of words dance on the tongue.

1
adj8103OP•

Thank you for the reply. I am glad that you enjoyed it! I wrote it with one scenario in mind, but over the re-write and edits, I began to read it as applicable to more than one scenario also. So, I am glad that you picked up on that as well- though it was a happy accident. :)

1
JayDolphins•

I'm absolutely new to poetry but in the last portion I feel as though if you were to take out "force sad withdraws" and replace it simply with withdraw it would sounds better

1
Mooochie•

I like your poem a lot but these lines especially.

"Often the guest, always marked tourist. I keep fingers stretched toward a horizon where I imagine my lonely world may find solace; a sincere ear in which to fall. Isn't that what it feels to be at home?"

To me it says spouses (also friends) don't see me as someone to spend their life with. Being a tourist in others lives but never finding home. Fingers stretched toward the horizon is a great way to say you're looking toward tomorrow for answers or the person you're looking for. Your definition of home is very well described too. Home is where people care about your issues and listen. This loneliness is very relatable. Well written!

1