Martin Keown turns 50 today - what are your favourite memories of him?
Posted Jul 24, 2016, 9:18 AM UTC
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When I was a kid, my favourite joke (an old one many of you have likely heard) used to be:
Arsene Wenger walks into the dressing room and says "ok everyone, I'm going to be bringing in a few new faces this summer"
at which point Martin Keown looks up and says "That's great, boss. Can I have one?"
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Old Trafford - 2003! Loved him for this! We need bullies in our team and he was one of them!
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He was a great man marker as well, he marked zidane out of the game when we beat them 1-0 to get through
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Was it Keown that Wenger made sweat for his final appearance to get a PL Winner's medal? Last game of the season when it was already decided, and Martin only needed one more run out to get to the appropriate amount of appearances that would equate to a medal. With one sub left Arsene sent Ray Parlour out to warm up just torture Martin a bit... Unaware he became a bit dissatisfied before The Original Prankster, Wenger, then sent him on- typically smiling through the whole ordeal.
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This story is actually on the Arsenal Facebook page today. Love it, I could listen to Ray Parlour tell stories all day. Seems it was all Ray doing the prancing, Wenger wasn't in on it and didn't really know what was going on until Keown came up and put his hands around Wengers neck, jokingly of course. That image of him doing it is one of my favourites
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does anyone have the photo they mentioned?
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Haha I inevitably saw the correct version just after posting. Always do your research before posting I guess
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Really funny story though. Wonder if Ray Parlour is for hire as an audiobook reader?
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I was going to share this one because it's so funny. Ray's told the story tons of times, but this is the version in his autobiography:
There was just time for one last momentous scene before the final whistle started the Invincible party for real. I was a sub that day, but my hopes of getting on had nothing on Martin Keown's. With ten appearances needed for anyone to qualify for a medal, Martin was on nine. He actually needed to make an appearance in each of those four games after winning the league at White Hart Lane, and Arsène had put him on for a couple of minutes at the end of each of the other ones.
Edu and José Antonio Reyes had already come on, and we only had one sub left to make. Time was ticking away. Martin was getting a bit twitchy. With five minutes to go Martin turned to me and asked, 'Do you think the boss will put me on?' He can get a bit forgetful, Arsène, and Martin was worried.
'Martin, go and warm up in front of him, make it obvious to him you need to get on,' I suggested.
'Ah, all right then. Good idea.'
So, off he goes. He takes his tracksuit bottoms down and warms up right in front of Arsène Wenger. The boss is going, 'Get out the way, Martin.' He can't see the game! So, Martin starts running up and down the line, they're all singing his name in the North Bank, and I think: this will be the best wind-up I've ever done. It was only a little bit of fun but I knew what kind of reaction it would get from Martin. I took my tracksuit bottoms off and, as he was clapping the fans, I sprinted behind him. He looked at me in horror.
'What are you doing, Ray?'
'I'm going on, Martin.'
'You can't! They've put two subs on already!' Now he's chasing me up and down the line, I thought he was going to kill me. I said, 'It's not my fault, the boss told me to warm up.'
'You can't! I need this for my medal!'
Anyway, I go back towards the dugout and take off my jumper, so I am now in full kit as if I am going to go on. Arsène hasn't got a clue what is happening. Martin bolts down the line – I have never seen him sprint so fast – and gets hold of Arsène. Martin virtually has him around the neck. I remember the boss saying, 'Get off, Martin!'
I thought: I have gone too far with this one.
Anyway, Martin came on for Freddie Ljungberg with three minutes to go, so all's well that ends well. He got his medal and he totally deserved it. It was his last season at the club so it was a very memorable way to draw the curtain on his Arsenal career.
After the game Arsène pulled me over and said, 'What did you say to Martin? He tried to kill me on the side of the pitch.' I told him and he thought it was hilarious. But Martin took it brilliantly in the end.
'I knew you were winding me up,' he said.
'Erm, but you had the manager round the neck...'
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50?? That does not compute.
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Right? I had no idea he was still playing for us at 36/37!
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Insanity aside, remembering how quickly both we, and Man U of that era transitioned and moved the ball around - wow.
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I know man, football was so exciting.
It's so boring nowadays it seems like we have more buses parked than frantic games.
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Man Utd vs Arsenal 2003 - Ruud Van NistelRooy vs Martin Keown [3:54]
Possibly one of the greatest moments in premier league history :)
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That was so gratifying to see, van nistelhorse had been throwing himself around, elbow, kicks to defenders heels, all sorts of dirty tricks all game. Seeing keown, and then half the team mob him at the end was hilarious.
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ah classic forearm to the back of the head. love it.
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I saw him out in the pub in Oxford last night just after midnight, I should have said Happy Birthday! I couldn't bring myself to go over and ask for a photo though in case he was a prick and it ruined my childhood :(
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Him fucking the Dutch prick
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Non-playing but used to live in Oxford, would see him now and then driving around in his Bentley. You knew it was him because the reg plate said K30WN... and he drives like you'd expect.
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Keown missing a penalty in his own testimonial match.
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i dont like this fact.
makes me feel old.
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OT 03 RVN
seen a signed framed copy i want to buy
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Videos in this thread: Watch Playlist ▶
VIDEO|COMMENT
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Man Utd vs Arsenal 2003 - Ruud Van NistelRooy vs Martin Keown|3 -
Martin Keown hit in face by ball|2 - Man getting hit by football. It works on so many levels.
Martin Keown Testimonial - Keown's penalty miss|1 - Keown missing a penalty in his own testimonial match.
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no shit
Me and my brother had this as a poster on out bedroom wall. Used the scare the shit out of me.
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Yup. Knew it before clicking.