It finally happened
It took two years but I finally reached my breaking point. We've been married for 4 years. We have a daughter and I love her to bits. But I can't take the rejection from my wife, the lack of sex completely, the feeling that the woman I pledged my life to turned a 180 after two years of marriage and decided that she no longer has to earn my desire by doing things with me that I enjoy doing. Our marriage is teetering on the edge of a knife right now. And we're finally talking about splitting up.
She's packed her bags, and I'm ok with it. She's threatened to leave, and I'm ok with it.
I've learned a lot from this sub, and I've appreciated all the words of wisdom from first hand experience. But the one thing that is keeping me level headed about a possible divorce is knowing what many of you know. This may be a long, expensive, arduous process, but in the end I'd be a happier, more validated, more masculine man in the long run.
We're gonna try to work through this mess one more time and one way or another, it looks like my dead bedroom is about to be fixed.
Posted Oct 8, 2016, 6:26 PM UTC
One thing you may want to keep in mind should you want to proceed with divorce: do not leave your home/move out. Men who leave their homes tend to get screwed over in court.
Let her move out if she wants to leave you so bad. Otherwise, if you want this over, proceed with divorce until such time as one of you is told to leave.
This. Seriously. If she's going to storm off, let her go. Leaving the home -- particularly with kids in play -- does not go well for the male in a divorce. I was reassured my US jurisdiction was relatively gender-neutral, and in hindsight it was total nonsense: the bias against men in custody decisions is pernicious and pervasive virtually everywhere. Stay. Don't be a jerk, but stay and demonstrably show you're there for your daughter.
Source: me. I have primary custody of my two kids (vs their alcoholic underemployed wreck of a mother), and even in a supposedly-uncontested divorce it cost me a $500k house and 10yrs x $10k/yr in child support for her 35% custody, in large part because I moved out to keep the peace, and the court wrongly assumed she was the primary caregiver.