I may take this comment as reason to keep it so because I like that word particularly for the feeling it's supposed to represent. Thanks.

I kind of disagree, justice seems fine to me. Anyway, great stuff! Really love the rhythm in this piece

Thanks for your comment. Really appreciate it. I may have to find a word to replace justice but I want to convey that feeling of finally getting the hang of something. 

Also, if there's a trick to finding rhythm it's reading and rereading and revising until you're getting the pace you want. Stepping away from the poem for a while helps. Thanks again. Really appreciate it. 

How do you do it? Always so rhythmic, yet no real discernable patterns or rhymes. The word 'justice' sticks out oddly, but thats an easy fix.

No I think you're right to be honest. It can be hard to see the exact reading of a piece after a couple of revisions and too much time spent looking at it. 

Like I said, I don't know if emphasizing the last word is conventional, but when I took some elective poetry courses in college, the professor pushed that idea, and it stuck with me.

I think the point is to help each line be able to stand on its own. I think of it like a movie: you know you're watching a good movie when every frame looks like a well thought out picture. Now, the context of the frame - what comes before or after - can greatly impact the *meaning* of the middle frame, but the middle frame still has its own significance. Ending a line with a, and, the, with, etc often diminishes the weight.

All that said, one of that professor's greatest lessons was that you can break any rule if you make it work. I think you made it work because of how those *loose ends* tie into the "finding footholds" theme.

Thanks for your comment. Generally I don't try to ascribe any additional emphasis to the last words on a line when I'm reading and I used the prepositions/conjunctions to try to speed up the poem by almost dragging the reader onto the next line. It may not work as intended so I might try just cutting those onto a single line and see how it reads then. thanks for taking the time to give feedback.

You're doing it azure.  Tell us how  
It makes you squirm.  Put a slight  
Worm on the hook and  
Throw it in the flow.  


Boughs overhanging the flow.  
Rough edges.

Maybe I'm doing it wrong, but when I read a poem, I put a slight emphasis on words at the end of a line. When a line ends in articles, prepositions, conjunctions, etc., this kind of throws off the flow, so I've developed an aversion to that. Overall this poem moves along smoothly, but 'as' and 'through' hanging there in the second stanza give it some rough edges.

That said, I feel like this poem describes someone finding a rhythm, so you very well may have done that intentionally! I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.

I really like the sounds and textures in the second stanza as well.

Thanks for your comment. Glad you liked it.

This is lovely. Fantastic rhythm, and I particularly liked the notion of "footholds in a task'. 

You're absolutely right. It was written yesterday during/shortly after I unloaded a delivery we got at work. A task that starts clumisly becomes almost enjoyable once you've a rhythm going.

I just commented on one of your other poems, and I'm happy I found this one. You're really good with imagery. I  really enjoy the last line "like songs you've often song." To me this poem is about how doing something monotonous, but how a task simple and boring as unloading and loading boxes can actually be enjoyable when you get in a rhythm. Hopefully that's what you were going for, and I didn't completely miss you message lol. I look forward to reading more of your work! 

Symmetry might actually be the word I'm looking for. Thanks for commenting.

I agree that 'justice' feels wrong. I'd lean towards 'mastery' myself, but that might be too far along the process you were aiming to convey. Also possibilities are ascendancy and proficiency. Maybe competency. 

Symmetry? 

Overall, quite good. 

I admire how well this flows. You were very effective in producing an image in the readers mind. Good work.

I knew that bit sounded familiar to me. Rhythmically Rawhide is such a beautiful piece. The bounce of the lyrics is hypnotic. Thanks for commenting.

Sung to the tune of Rawhide . . . .  

Get 'em empty; stack 'em high,  

Move 'em in; move 'em out  

Cardboard!  

Excellent.

    The sliding textured beat
    of unloading deliveries;
    
    Supple cardboard shrugs
    against its neighbour as
    tension cracks through 
    packing tape. 
    
    Open open open - each in time. 
    Get'em empty; stack'em high.
    
    Sweet rhythmic justice 
    finding footholds in a task
    'til all of it's a part of you,    
    like songs you've often sung. 


[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/59o5vm/impressions_of_a_thursday_morning/d9a112g/) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/59oryk/in_passin/d9a61zv/)

Boxes Upon Boxes