I only write poetry when I'm anxious

I only write poetry when I’m anxious;  
when trembling weights bear heavy on my back
when howling winds scream wordless through my ears  
and shivers dance goose-legged across my skin,

I only write poetry when I’m anxious.  
When, speaking of that night, I can’t call forth a single note
of a symphony yet unheard, battering my soul with trumpets blaring, 
and I, the hapless composer,   
who asks to pin music to a page  
and finds she has killed which she creates,

I only write poetry when I’m anxious  
when I find the colors in my words run dry  
I tumble letters unto the page  
like beads from a jar  
hoping they spill themselves into constellations  
hoping they light the way north. 

I only write poetry when I’m anxious  
when the knowing hunts me down in the night  
when my fingers shake across the keys  
and I am blind to the life I breathe forth  
when I stop understanding  
when I take a knife to my veins and bleed.

I only write poetry when I’m anxious  
when I beg you to understand  
when I scream silently into the night  
writing poems no one will ever read  
anyways

I only write poetry when I’m anxious  
when I give in to terrifying visions of isolation  
when I am afraid my words will say too little  
when I am afraid my words will say too much

I only write poetry when I’m anxious.  
I only write poetry in the dark. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5f8xhe/dry_gulched/ https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/5f86tp/my_next_breath/