Run while you still can

Feedback Received!

Some people settle

with comfort and

familiarity and

never grow to learn

what's possible

 

They walk

with tired dim torches

afraid to run

in fear of losing

their light

 

They are blind

to the knowledge that

their fire is fading

and soon will

their sight

 

There will come a time

when the dark envelopes the light

so don't be afraid to run

with your fire

for it may grow brighter

than you ever thought before

 

Some people

walk into the darkness

with their tired dim torches

without ever having known

how bright

 

They could have shined..

 

1, 2

Posted Mar 21, 2017, 8:59 PM UTC

35

I like this very much, very motivational. I really enjoyed that last line. I think it would have more of an affect if you got rid of the "how bright" at the bottom. just "with out ever having known"..."They could shined" might just be a personal preference. Great work!

2
coconutscentedcatOP•

I like your suggestion!

2
badlybougie•

I love the twist on the repetition at the end! Your fragmented structure was very interesting as well. Great message too!

2
Tomp21•

Wow, this kind of hits home, which makes it feel more powerful than it already feels. Great work

1
coconutscentedcatOP•

Thanks!

1