The world's longest drunk text

[This piece has been in the works for much longer than most things I write, which makes it feel a bit sporadic and incoherent in my opinion. However, I feel like that fits the context]

I got 99 problems drowned out in that 80 proof

And your phone rings cuz there's like four things I had to say to you

On my stumble back home, my face a shade of blue

And I wish I could get my number back from that girl that I gave it to

Cuz I know she's just a plug for the area that's been sinking

That you had left with me and that's why you got me drinking

Now it's Evan Williams or some Jack Daniels and a little Coke

Hoping I can fake forget how you left me a little broke

Because what I thought was serious you saw as a little joke

Thought I felt a spark but soon it was up in smoke, damn

Now I'm a bit choked up

Bout to throw stuff

You can watch me go nuts

I miss your Crosley vinyl player and that one record that skips

Woke up without you and thought damn all that effort for this?

And I know that it's your birthday so you got a new dude in bed with you

But I fucked last night just to stay a step ahead of you

I used to catch you smiling and you'd say it was about me

Now I know you're smiling and it hurts cuz it's without me

So I'll just tuck myself in and forget it until tomorrow

When I wake up and crack another bottle for the sorrow

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