Fog and Effect
If you look at the fog
Its own dialogue
Shared to you alone
It has a story
It tells of the past
A story at last
A silent aftermath
Of nature's wrath
The preceding unknown
The world surrounding unknown
All it tells is the ending
How isn't worth mentioning
Nothing else is real
The effect is what matters
The end is what you feel
The story scatters
The fog is the effect
What the details select
The fog is of now
It is what you allow
Feedback: 1: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/63osf6/drowning/ 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/63qh1y/the_limits_of_avian_medicine/
Posted Apr 6, 2017, 8:29 PM UTC · edited
12
Reeeeeely liked this! It was easy for me to get lost in (not trying to make a fog reference) and flowed really well. Honestly it made me think of how the fog we might be seeing may have water particles that have drown people or been part of hurricanes/tsunamis - I think it was because of the stanza that begins with "it tells of the past".
The only parts I got tripped up on were the two "unknowns" in the 3rd stanza and the final stanza which I think had to do with the rhyming. Great work though! 👍