Thank you! How does "Preach your faith / while you sin" sound?

I like how you have paired opposites. Seems to be a little off with forgiveness and sin. I think this is a sad but horribly true account of what's happened. 
I especially liked "watch the flames cool hearts within". Wonderful job.

Yeah this is more about war in general, but I was specifically pushed to do it by the chemical attack and the recent tomahawk missiles the US fired. Thanks.

Great use of contrast, although maybe a bit trite for the subject matter. I suggest looking deeply into the conflict and introducing some specific information regarding this war. Otherwise this could kind of just be titled "war." I like what you're going for, clearly you're affected very deeply by the subject matter.

I agree, it's not really specific to Syria. That being said, the vagueness and simplicity was purposeful. I value the brevity and lack of explicit detail for this poem, but I would be happy to write more powerful imagery in future work. Thank you for your input

I would be more inclined to change the title in all honesty.

I get the feelings, but there's a lot of vagueness here. Like mjknlr said, this could be about any event, but it is titled "Syria." I would suggest adding imagery and some specifics to help it cut deeper. Imagine what it's like breathing in sarin. Put yourself in the boots of a troop who has to fire the missile. Empathize.  

Every odd stanza is directed at the US, every even stanza is directed at the Syrian victims. I haven't really thought about who is *saying* the lines, though. That might be interesting to consider!

It might be just me, but I like how I, myself, can't figure out who is saying these lines.  Is it Syrian victims, The U.S., Assad?  But thats what I like about it.  It can be any of them at least to me.

Odd stanzas are directed at the US gov., even stanzas directed at Syrian victims.

>Pray for dark
Amidst the light

  
Not really sure what this line means, but overall I liked the theme of your poem. Also not really sure who the " you" is in the poem,a victim or a soldier.

Pay for fear    
With disdain

Forget your joys    
Screaming in pain

Beg forgiveness    
While you sin

Watch the flames    
Cool hearts within

Call for peace    
Bring war to life

Walk with death    
As you survive

Stand on Earth    
Rain from the sky

Pray for dark    
Amidst the light

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/646wg2/where_am_i/dfzv98c/) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/64bcgy/first_time_writing_a_poem_thought_id_give_it_a/dg0twjt/)