r/OCPoetry•
milgita

What Is This?

Feedback Received!

What is this thing?
Is it a painting of a soul?
A reflection of the reader's?
Calling for connection,
While drifting round the message?
Kindred heartfriends, never met
Are sought with letters, and from depths
Unguarded, but yet somehow locked, as
Other letters nested, hidden, hunger
For ever more and more.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/69mjt8/the_future/dh8beel/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/69p5cc/phantom_queen_of_hearts/dh8conj/

Posted May 7, 2017, 3:51 AM UTC

26
Aqua783•

This piece reminded me that everyone interprets poetry differently, whether they like to see the reflection of themselves in a piece or try to see the writer's idea (ha the irony). The actual meaning is almost always underneath many, many layers, waiting, hungry for someone to come along and show their acknowledgment.

That being said, I liked the transition of "Is it a painting of a soul? / A reflection of the reader's?", the line "unguarded, but yet somehow locked"; it gave my heart a twang. I also like the sounds in line six :)

Oh, on another read, I also got the thought of two people sending letters and hoping the recipient can detect the longing from them.

2
milgitaOP•

Thanks! That's what I was going for :)

1
smashmouthrules•

I felt like this was someone pondering over correspondence - probably due to the recurring letters motif. The idea of the two souls communicating non-coprereally is well demonstrated.

I think you've touched on some other nice topics - non-directive communication, the disaprity between reader and writer, quite well, but I get concerned you lose focus sometimes. I still enjoyed this, but maybe something to take in to account :)

2
milgitaOP•

Thanks for the feedback! I really appreciate constructive criticism :)

1
adcd14•

Really enjoyed your word choice

1
milgitaOP•

Thank you! :)

1