I [17M] feel unsatisfied with my life

I am stoked to hear that you are improving yourself. You often find people here saying they have anxiety but don't know what to do about it. It sounds like you've tackled that pretty well.

As for the girl, I think you're just using her as an excuse. At 17, it's not weird to feel like you're at a crossroads and you just don't know where things are going. You're starting to feel like an adult but the world doesn't treat like you one yet.

I know for me, I didn't feel like life really started until I graduated university and moved to a new city. I got my own life, one that wasn't being forced on me by parents/society.

So listen, there's nothing wrong with you. It's just normal adolescent ennui. It will get better.

Hi there,

If a large part of it is because of the ex, i think you've already answered yourself why she isnt worth it. (Having anxiety over things she did that you didnt like) was an indication in itself that she wasn't for you aswell as the fact that you being socially awkward made her stop dating you the first time.

If a person doesn't accept your "introvertedness" then they aren't someone who accepts you for you and trust me that IS possible. My current partner was very socially awkward in high school with girls and in general when meeting new people and we met through gaming and he went to my ex's high school. Meeting him I accepted how quiet he was or how he barely talked and I thoroughly enjoyed how he was (he became my bestfriend soon after) as he understood me as a person and when we talked on social media everything we discussed just clicked.

It's also normal for someone to have spells during moments of success, such as I did when I lived with my ex and his family and everything was going really well but I was always depressed for some reason. That was untill i met my current partner and realised how happy I was and it was more to do with the circumstances i was in previously but blind to see.

If you're having spells during a time you are eating healthy etc and have more confidence it could be that your emotional/mental side hasnt been catered to (as you're linking your spells towards your past and how your relationship stopped during a time you had constant anxiety). Maybe speak to a professional first also, but I think if you be yourself and honest about your anxiety to people and they accept you for it, it may make you feel better. Dont withdraw who you are and hide it under all these successful milestones, because you shouldn't be ashamed of your anxiety!

Tl;dr - essentially be yourself and open about your anxiety and dont hide it from the people you meet, you'll feel better knowing they accept that part of you aswell as your milestones :)