Insert Champagne Corks: NOW!

Did anyone else foul their drawers?

Posted Aug 14, 2017, 9:16 AM UTC

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inubassPoor Impulse Control•

I always wear my brown pants.

3
TannerleafOPEMPEROR'S BOWELS!!•

A sound strategy!

Goddamn, thanks for at least commenting on this. I was coding furiously yesterday when the jigglings and the tremblings took over for a few seconds. I was well pleased with myself at this high quality posting :-)

3
RustedblaydsThe speaking part is my strongest section of the JLPT. ✓•

I didn't know how to respond... :) I've been sitting here with a champagne cork in my arse for almost 8 hours....apart from the initial discomfort, it's quite ...er...well not as uncomfortable as when I first inserted it.

Is this a new trend? Did I get in on the initial wave?

3
TannerleafOPEMPEROR'S BOWELS!!•

It's the best cure for post-3/11 ADHDLGBTPTSDWD40.

Make sure that you insert it flared-end first; and not the fat end with the wiry bits and tinfoil on it.

It's also important that it's a Champagne cork, and not a regular red/white wine cork. The latter, you see, have a consistent girth for their entire length; which does not ensure a good seal. The Champagne corks, on the other hand, have a flared end, which helps to overcome the titanic pressures involved when the ADHDLGBTPTSDWD40 kicks in before, during, and after (sometimes weeks after) a minor tremblor.

Common-or-garden wine corks have been known to suffer catastrophic failure at the onset the jiggling, resulting in the containment vessel being flooded, followed by a total emotional meltdown.

2
RustedblaydsThe speaking part is my strongest section of the JLPT. ✓•

and not a regular red/white wine cork

NOW you tell me??!!!! I've lost 3 already.....then i moved onto the Champagne one....

3