Hive Mind, Please Help!

Help me RBNSpouses hive mind, you're my only hope!

DH has the most infuriating habit of waiting 24 hours or more before telling he's annoyed or upset about something. He basically comes in in the morning before I leave for work (he works midnight) or waits until I get back to let me step on a landmine of hurt feelings. Somes it's literally days and days later and he is curt and angry and then shuts down for hours.

When I try and talk to him and have a conversation we get a few steps along the "understanding where the other person is coming from ladder", but as soon as I don't get exactly what is bugging him exactly the way he's explaining it he just loses all patience and tells me to fuck off then goes to bed and stonewalls me for the rest of the night.

Does anyone else's RBN do this? How do you deal with it, and how do you explain to him that just because you're not understanding his explanation doesn't mean you don't want to, and if he could just rephrase it or try and not take your lack of understanding as a reason to bring up all the other times you've misunderstood, etc, it doesn't mean you don't want to understand?