Just need a place to vent

So, I have (had) these two friends. They were really the only people that ever understood me. During the past month or month and a half, they stopped talking to me as much. Stopped including me in things. I'd been sick a little recently, and had missed some school, so I thought that was it at first. But it just got worse. One of them stopped talking to me entirely unless I talked to her first. If I did anything, it seemed to annoy her. Speaking to me seemed like it was a chore to her. I tried to talk about different things, but nothing worked. The other girl has been my best friend for three years, but suddenly she'd rather only talk to my other friend. With no one to talk to, I moved away from them in all of my classes. I figured I'd give them space, and maybe they'd realize I was gone and maybe talk to me regularly again. But... it just got worse. They just pretended like I didn't exist. I've had depression for a while, about 5 years. I've never vented to them or unloaded my troubles onto either of them (except in a joking way). I tend to not do that in fear of what has already happened. I don't understand what I did wrong. I've tried to get better, but nothing ever helps. I feel so lonely these days. This past Thursday, I just laid down on the floor and cried. I was going to kill myself that day, but I just got up and put my pills away. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't see any point in being alive if people will just leave me alone when I just want someone to talk to. Maybe I'm just too annoying, too worthless and uninteresting. I wish I could do something so people would like me. I can't help but hate myself even more now.