Invitations Question

I agree with the other poster. Send to the person who will get it on the calendar - also during your planning process keep on eye on if they move in together which could result in a new address

I would just send one with both names on it. While some may see it as presumptuous, I would send it to whomever is the better planner.

That's a tough one! Ultimately, I don't think it matters. I guess the cheap person in me would be to invite them on the same invitation and just send it to one (probably the woman if it's a heterosexual couple because honestly one of them cares about this more than the other).

We sent our save the dates to each of them separately if they would both be invited either way. If they were in a relationship but didn't live together and we were only close with one or only one would be invited if they broke up we sent it to that person with both names on it. In the 10months since we sent save the dates - 4 couples who we would invite both parties moved in together so they got one invite obviously. And 3 couples who we were only close with one person (including my MOH who broke up and moved in with a different guy within 6months) broke up.

Mail it to the person in the couple who is more responsible

Echoing to send it to the more responsible party. We did email save the dates and I sent them to my brother's girlfriends instead of them since they're the ones who keep the google calendars for them.

One STD with both their names spelled out should be good! As long as you're not sending it as "John Doe +1", there's almost no chance anyone will get offended. Just send it to the person who will be more likely to mark it in their calendar!!

Also... In case this helps anyone... Buying square STDs (like I did) results in higher postage ($0.70 each, I think?), because it takes the sorter more time to figure out which way the address is written. Go rectangular to save money!

I sent one with both people's names on it. I had absolutely no idea that is considered presumptuous. Wedding etiquette debates can get insane sometimes. Oh well, no one complained thus far.

Like:

Mr. Jack Smith & Ms. Lucy Brown

We did one STD per party and chose whoever would actually calendar it. We made clear on the address collection page on our website that only one STD was sent per party. There were no issues.

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I used e-invites so I had to make a judgement call as to whether to send the invitation to both people or to just one person. In general, if I had both people's e-mail addresses, I sent the invite to both, and let them each RSVP for themselves. This included aunts and uncles, friends, etc.

There were definitely a few couples where I only had one e-mail, so I just sent it to that person. Also my aunt and uncle still somehow manage to SHARE an e-mail address (these are not old fuddy-duddies either - they are working professionals in their late 40s) so they only got one.

I agree with the others, that I would send the invite to the person who you think is more...on the ball in regards to RSVPs. I would address the invite to both people directly though so Tom Smith and Jane Adams, not Tom Smith and Guest or anything like that.