Shame

I remember how I used to fantasize
As I would lay in bed at night
That you would hug my corpse from behind
Just like you said we would do for hours;
Or how you said you would wear
My clothes when I was gone,
Treading the granite to seek closure
With myself.
That way I could take care of you like
A real man would.
But now I cannot even let it cross my mind.
I feel ashamed that I let you down.
I was not near enough to help you up,
And now I feel deeper than you.
I cannot picture you trying to suffocate
Me in your love from behind, 
Because I feel scolded for even trying to
Meddle with your mind.

• Links - Rain: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/75bdb7/rain/do51gvf/ Fire, Earth, and Flesh: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/75b149/fire_eart_and_flesh/do521tx/