[TW:Sexual Abuse] Sexual abuse ? I'm not sure what that was

So, someone here recently published a story about being molested by their mother : Link. I didn't want to derail their thread with my own experience, so here goes.

I have similar memories as them, but I've never been sure if what happened was sexual abuse or not or what it was. I'd very much like to have other people's honest opinion about it.

When I was a kid, think up until age 8-9, things happened when I was sick. My mother would take my temperature with one of these thermometers that have to go in people's backside. I suppose there's nothing so wrong with that, but it's just that she loved using that thing so much. She loved inserting it inside of me, and even when she changed it for something that you can use on a teenager without it being too weird, she got one of those fancy thermometers that you have to stick in people's ears. Often she'd insist on doing it herself even though I was perfectly capable of using it, and you could see how much she liked it.

And it's not only this. I remember that whenever possible, in the doctor's office, she would specifically request the medication in suppository form, even if there were other options available. I remember my heart sinking every time, because I knew what that meant.

She'd make me lie down butt naked on the rug on the bathroom floor, either face down or staring at the ceiling. She'd have me lie there for a very long time, just liying there alone in the bathroom, first in anticipation, knowing that at some point she was going to come in with the ''medicine'' or the thermometer, and then after she inserted it, until she had deemed it long enough to work. She loved inserting these things inside me, the suppositories especially, and then she'd finish it with a big smile on her face and a little pat on my backside. It's difficult to describe, but the look on her face - she looked so satisfied and happy, like she was enjoying herself so much. It makes my skin crawl just to think about it.

I had blocked these memories for a long time, and they came flooding back one day when I was doing yoga and had to lie down in the exact same position. It triggered a panick attack, and I couldn't stop crying for maybe three days. I know I felt awful about it, but I'm still not sure if I can call this sexual abuse or not.

Thoughts ?

[Edit] Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the input and validation. It spooks me so much that this resonates with so many people.