The Joys of Being Forgotten

The demonic headlights had driven me from bed

and bathed the snow in there hellish crimson

I get into the car and unravel in the silence

My headphones overpower

my sadness anger

I am a cliché

My actions have already been written

I will start the car and be lost in haze of 3am depression

I will speed down the endless road

biting into my own back I will become hysterical

I will drive the sun back into the sky

I will allow the fever of my guilt to consume me

I will sustain myself on stolen cash and dead promises

I will only need gasoline and loneliness.

neither are cheap

I will find the emptiness I seek in the endless backwoods ramshackle shitholes

I will search till time becomes cyclical flowing into itself

then when I’m alone

ill lie in a ditch

ill look into the oppressive beauty of the stars, how cruel to see there ever distant perfection

and I shall know the joys of being forgotten

and drown in a blissfull despair

edit:forgot feedback https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7nzpou/my_grandfather_told_me_stories_tw_racial_slur/ds8k1fn/?context=0

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7obilt/escape/ds8jlbn/?context=0