I like the extended metaphor -- although existential musings are a little/lottle overplayed in poems, I think this one glides well with some neat imagery. I think chopping this into 2 quatrains would feel controlled visually. Nitpick: the stems of nature "follow" instead of follow"s." Nice job.

You're free to think that but it's pretty similar. Rupi writes in vapid platitudes and vague, extended metaphors to appeal to people. I'm not really sure if her Poetry needs defending.

This isn't Rupi Kaur's style at all. 

A pithy poem with a single topic does not mean it should be equated with her poetry.

It feels a little Rupi/hallmark-y for me but I still don't hate it. It's pretty adorable in its own sense and the extended metaphors aren't 'too' absurd or cringe-worthy. 

&nbsp;

The grammar in lines 5, 6, & 7 get a little wonky and it's pretty distracting. Reading those lines out loud is really distracting. Not sure if intentional.

I enjoyed the metaphor. In terms of grammer I'd correct the line " like the stems of nature follows the sun" to " it follows the sun," or " like the stems of nature follow the sun." very nice though

    Existence is a puree of moments,

Love this line!

    recorded in the dirt from which it grew.

"Recorded in the dirt?" You've lost me here. And "from which it grew" feels like filler. "From which it" in general is usually too fluffy for a poem, where economy of language is so important. I suggest rewriting this line.

    Man is a small part of this long cycle,
    unavailable to stop and observe.

Interesting concept. Boring language. 

"Man is a small part of this long cycle." could be: "Man is a peach pit spun in the blender." or "Man is a seed sucked in through a straw."

    Like the stems of nature follows the sun,
    so he will wake up one day when he’s born,
    and yield one ingredient at the time,
    and add them to the blender he calls life.

Here comes God. This feels like a very uninteresting depiction of God. He's born, and he goes up to some cosmic blender and adds cosmic ingredients.

Also, what does this have to do with Veganism?

What you need here is some more concrete imagery, more of the first line, I'm sure it'd be easy enough to lace in references to ingredients throughout the piece before coming to your conclusion.

Existence is a puree of moments,  
recorded in the dirt from which it grew.  
Man is a small part of this long cycle,  
unavailable to stop and observe.  
Like the stems of nature follows the sun,  
so he will wake up one day when he’s born,  
and yield one ingredient at the time,  
and add them to the blender he calls life.  


[et](https://reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7rhfri/tried_to_stay_dry/dsx3jep/), [to](https://reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7rhm4l/untitled_garbage/dsx391a/)

God might be vegan