Maybe it's not a flashback when I can't get it out if my head and out of my every thought. Whatever it is, I can't count colors or read numbers outloud all day (aka some grounding skills). I need better coping skills. I don't want to bother my therapist by asking for help yet again. What coping skills help you? It's becoming hard to not fall back on self injury (shit coping) when nothing else works.
Posted Jan 20, 2018, 4:45 PM UTC
This has been a really hard problem for me too. For me, I'm in high school and the school keeps letting him back to the school, so I see him constantly and remember. Sometimes I pass by his house and remember, too. I guess my coping skills aren't the best but what I found helped was writing everything down. I wrote it all down in detail, and then tried to move on. I felt better after I did that, but I don't know if the flashbacks will ever really stop.
Is there anything you can identify that triggers it? Or maybe even several things? I've pulled together several coping skills that help me, but they're definitely most effective when you can tailor them to your particular needs.
The biggest thing at work for me is people. Meetings are the worst, but even just having people around me minding their own business wears on me really quickly. So headphones with audiobooks really help me get "away" from that whenever I can. Or like skin-to-skin contact can set me off, even in casual and socially acceptable contexts, so I feel safer wearing a jacket and/or gloves sometimes. Eating can really help ground me, too, even if that's crunching ice or celery, or also drinking something and focusing on that sensation. Or using some other sensation to imitate self-harm without causing real harm, like an ice pack, heating pad, or even icyhot strip on the area.
You should really talk to your therapist again about it. You're not bothering them; it's their job! Y'all can work together to brainstorm what might help you the most, and try them out and then discuss whether it helped. It was definitely a journey for me to build that toolbox. It's great that you're reaching out for new ideas, just please don't worry about utilizing your therapist's help! You can do this.
Thank you for your reply. I've found walking to be best but I live in a small coastal town and it's rains TON and obviously is not so safe to do at night. I usually can stay busy enough but I'm find it hard to find a coping skill that is as helpful as walking. Writing gets it on paper for me to talk to my therapist about but until I am able to talk to my therapist about them (it's been slow), I'm needing coping skills. Talking helps except when I'm too scared to and get too upset to. I know this is temporary but I'm finding it more and more difficult to not utilize self harm which I know works, even if temporarily. It just isn't what I want. And I feel like I'm bother my therapist. I don't want my therapist to feel like I'm taking advantage of him or something. I don't want to interrupt his life. I don't know...if I'm not going going going, the thinking time overwhelms me and I get stuck in the memories like it's happening again (only I know it's not). Only good thing is that I'm going to be hella fit and my apartment is spotless lol.
Counting never did shit for me, but getting up and moving, getting my body engaged while I was distracting myself mentally was pretty much the only was I’ve managed to get myself thinking about something else. If you’re at home, a punching bag might be a good investment for those moments you’re way the hell too inside your own head.
Physically walking somewhere else, changing your scenery and focusing on those details instead might help too. Good luck, bud.
Those things like counting and looking around are really only meant to pull you out of dissociation. They don't deal with the core problem, but they're a tool to pull you out of the worst of it. Trauma alters the brain. It changes the way we process information, and if you have a long history of trauma, it can cause even bigger changes to the structure of the brain. You probably have PTSD (or CPTSD), and it might help you to get a workbook so that you can formally address the day to day issues this is causing you. The ongoing, intrusive thoughts are not something you should have to battle all day, every day for the rest of your life.
Hey um how do you know if you have PTSD or not I can't fucking stop thinking about it and it fucks up my head but idk how to know if I have it or not what are the symptoms?
This has been the hardest part for me. Especially in the middle of the night when I randomly wake up. I try and focus on who I am because of it, not what happened to me.... Granted it doesn't always work it helps alot.
It gets really hard sometimes and I totally know what you mean when you say maybe not flashbacks because it's constantly a battle to get it out if your head. Sometimes it helps me to just distract myself with busywork or a show. Something that makes me laugh. My kids have helped with this too...because I can't stay there and stew when I need to be there for them. They'll make me laugh or do something sweet and then I feel like I can breathe again. Maybe find a hobby that you can throw yourself into?