I enjoy reading this. I read it three times. I like the surreal elements - they make me think that they are really banal observations amplified.

Good work 

Thank you both very much for the encouragement 

I absolutely love it!
This inspired me to write more. Super vivid.
Thanks for sharing! 
*Namaste*


This is really helpful. I meant for their efforts at obtaining happiness to seem pathetic and obviously futile, but reading it now with fresh eyes I see that this isn’t clear at all. I think I’ll try to make it longer also to show them interacting. Really appreciate your help.

A nice tight look at two characters. I wish though was a stanza about the two interacting as, and maybe I am reading it wrong, but I didn't know any love, and  I'm not sure it made them happy as to cross an item off his list made him happy and pulling sequinned cloaks helped her, so there was no good sign of love overturning them or supporting them. The 8/8/8/4 rhyme scheme and phonetic repetition were very nice, and it flowed into each sentence and stanza using these. 

His schemes for self-improvement bought  
Permission to be still at night.  
To cross an item off his list  
Was happiness.  
  
  
She reached each day into her throat  
And pulled from it a sequinned cloak  
She wore to dazzle Death with trite  
Complexities.
    
  
So neither had an answer fit  
To play their private god and yet  
Sufficed to keep them busy whilst,  
Love did its work.  
  

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7tb95v/the_tyrant/dtblopm/  
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/7tcfrx/sponge_and_soap/dtbkvrd/

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