Siren
why does sitting on this
freezing january beach
feel wrong without you
why does the ocean at night
conjure up images of your face
why does the hole in my chest
feel cavernous, too large to fill,
when i see someone with your shirt
or your car or your hair walking down the street
the world is mostly ocean and you are 3/4 of my heart
i am wandering aimlessly without your beacon
i am watching the tide come in with no lighthouse
i am lost in your beautiful shoreline forever
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/82mr3k/comment/dvbewqd?st=JEH1NKL7&sh=6b1a08e1
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/82m019/comment/dvbf05u?st=JEH1S884&sh=2a917194
Posted Mar 7, 2018, 12:20 PM UTC · edited
32
Great job! You made me feel your struggle linke it was mine. This poem is full of mourning. You used nice images and what i like the most: u didnt use too man pictures so its balaced. The only thing i dont like is the repeat At the end.feels clumsy To me. But i get what u did there. Its just my opinion. Beautiful poem overal!