Thank you. It was all written within a minute or so. A flash of inspiration that was able to be captured

Makes it all the better knowing came from the heart, keep writing. 

I like this a lot, can definitely see the songwriter in this. Is it about anyone in particular? The moment unmeasured line really lingered after reading for me. 

The lights are when you see solmething really bright and then look away you see the dots

This is nice, you can feel the energy behind the words. What are the dots? Like the weird effects your eye sees when looking at lights in rain? I think the 7th line is especially strong. If I were to offer any critique I would say that the number of rhymes with the same sound at the end might be a bit much. That may be the point though. Also I am very new to poetry, so what do I know. 

Keep writing!

This is the first poem I literally ever post anywhere besides lyrics I've written for bands that I've been in.

"Lets Play Connect the Dots"




Baby

I miss you

Call me

I'm needy

And by needy I mean, need you

And by need you I mean, you bring life into my life

Like a moment unmeasured, like a blinding fucking light

And not annoyingly bright, but can still make you see the dots 

Oh the dots!

And I count them 1 and 2

And I'd love to see a million more because of you

I love you baby, through and through

And I can't wait to wake up every morning next to you.


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/837m7l/heaven/


https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/836fni/pool_day/