First poem here :) any feedback is appreciated

i’ve stared at the sun long enough to know that my eyes cannot bear the weight of what it wants to tell me

your distant gaze reminding me that asking for love is like begging God for forgiveness:

it is not His to give no matter how much I plead

every poem i write starts to sound the same: i’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry

 

to tell you the truth, i don’t even know what i’m sorry for

except maybe the way i cut up apples with the steak knife, leaving the edges ragged

or pressing my numb feet against your calf again again again until i steal all your warmth

or biting your bottom lip so rough, you gasp in surprise or pleasure or pain - i can never tell

 

truthfully, i am not sorry

not for stripping you bare and latching myself onto you

not for giving you every puzzle piece of me and asking you to put me back together blindfolded

not even for stealing pieces of your soul for when this is all over

 

i have stared at the sun and the moon and my eyes have fallen prey to the tricks of light;

i blink and the fog in front of you clears away

i blink and the suitcase falls forward

i blink and am left with a mug of cold coffee and the pieces of your soul

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