Thanks! I put it that way since I wanted to have a sense of it escalating to that point and quitening down again with the last stanza. 

You're right tho, it does feel a little rough, gotta work on that a bit. 

Really good poem, strong imagery and definite emotion. 

May I ask why you decided to italicize the second to last stanza? Was it for emphasis? It feels a bit out of place. It's a tad bit jarring, but it isn't destructive. 

Thank you! I guess at the time, I was listening to Radiohead's airbag, and I wanted to have a "chorus" to my poem as well. But yeah this can be an undoing cuz poems are not songs. 

I'm not much of a free verse fan but I have to say, your rhythm, imagery and great use of metaphor really makes for an impressive poem. 

I too was wondering why you italicized that second to last stanza. I noticed that it's 4 lines too, rather than three.

Other than that, great work! Keep sharing.

An immensely strong imagery, in your poem but could use fixing on the part of where it was italicized. or is it for emphasis?

In the school summer carnival  
With a dancing yukata  
I'm in love again  

In a fractured rainbow screen  
Glitching pixels of your form  
I'm in love again  

In my drug induced dream  
You're pregnant with the past  
I'm in love again

In the heaven's cable car  
The architecture of your multiverse  
The cosmic candles all go dark  

*As the tethers finally give  
Plunge into helium seas of sunken beliefs  
Across the event of a dying star  
My spaceship of relative love, drifting afar*

In my empty bed  
White blood cells of your form  
I'm in love again

***

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/85vclj/love_case/dw23xuw/) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8632d4/to_the_wind/dw23i46/)

Cable Car