Hey. Thanks a lot for your feedback! The lack of punctuation and capitalization is intended in this poem. As for imagery I left out the description of things mentioned as to redirect the focus on the process that is described. With all that said, I see where you're coming from and really appreciate your advice and words of encouragement.

Good start! but there are some things you may want to consider. 

Adding punctuation is definitely an important thing, this helps to dictate the way some one else reads your poem. When you read it aloud, where do you pause? Where do you stop to take it all in? Using punctuation wisely can help to put emphasis on the parts of your piece that you want to stand out, the really important things. 

Imagery is also important, you want to help any one reading to know what it feels like when you write about these things. What do the cigarettes look like?
What do they taste like? What does it feel like to be without them?  
When you describe some of more of the details of the experience, it helps the reader to then be more immersed in the experience themselves. 

I hope this has helped, keep on writing, and don't stop til your fingers fall off! (In a nice way) 

Hi. First off, thanks for taking the time to read my poem and giving me some really constructive criticism. I completely agree with you on the whole cliche part as I find it a bit difficult to avoid cliches sometimes. Even as I was writing this I found myself thinking that it reminded me a lot of "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and that readers might feel like it's sort of unoriginal. 

Second, the last two lines are supposed to be a really important and crushing finishing touch and I'm pretty disappointed they didn't do that for you. I think it's because at first, as you said they seem to repeat something that was already mentioned.  
What I really meant to say by those two verses was that although the process is coming to an end and it can't be stopped was it really for the best? Because at the end of the day not only the person meant to be forgotten was lost but someone else as well. I left the word "us" in there for this reason.

Anyway, I kind of started rambling too much.

The poem starts off really strong, but later on I feel that the language becomes too familiar and borders on cliche (particularly the I want to scream section.) Of course, the down to earth imagery/voice suits the poem, and it makes the sentiments powerful, but I still think the poem could be made more impactful in that respect. I also think you can cut the last two lines completely, no need to repeat what's already been said more profoundly.

Hi there. You are completely right on the reasoning behind the style I used for the piece. I'm so happy it had an impact on you. Thank you so much for your kind words. 

In a lecture rn  so I can't elaborate too much but it's such a lovely piece.  It's crushing in a way and contrary to the other commentator, I like the lack of punctuation and capitalization as it creates this tired desperation in the air.

i gave up cigarettes to forget you  
i gave up liquor to forget the times i tried to forget you  
i gave up the way i thought about you  
hoping to extinguish my compulsive self-hatred  
my subconscious is working overtime  
on a task i half-heartedly entrusted it  
what now seems an eternity ago  
with every forced breath i take  
it’s doing what i needed it to  
throwing everything into flames  
painfully unsorted  
i sort of want to scream and beg for it to stop  
but then i realize it’s not me who thought that  
&amp;nbsp;  
i gave up someone i really liked to forget you  
and i forgot us

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/87eklq/the_death_of_march/dwcudzr/) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/87dddi/cosmic_kisses/dwcux28/)

the last thing i write before i forget how i felt