I think there are some strong parts of the poem-- the start and end tie together well with a nice twist surprise with the ending. 

There are some parts that are a little weaker. Personally, I'm not a fan of "baseless hedonism" as the definition of baseless is at odds with the definition of hedonism. 

I'm also a little confused by the idea of "inedible lemons" and the "listless sauce"-- it feels like the poem took an unexplained and sudden turn from when the lemon tart was good ("creamy and thick") to it being bad. 

I could see this being an impactful poem (especially with the nice and witty humour at the end there). Definitely keep working on it!

I feel like there was potential but missed the mark, all that I take away from this is a sour opinion on sour opinions.

Absolutely love this form tbh. 

Not sure what a listless sauce is, and a slate of opinions doesn't gel with me either. Not entirely sure why, but maybe it's because I like people expressing opinions.

I think there's many more interesting things you could serve this lemon tart on.

The more I read this, the less I'm sure if it's about yourself or a critique of somebody else.

Overall, good punchy first impression with some little parts that don't sit well with me personally.

Lemon Tart   £7.99. 
  
Creamy and thick With a   
base of baseless hedonism,  
whole inedible lemons  
&amp; a listless sauce drizzled ontop.   
Served hot on a slate of opinions.  
  
[Not suitable for Vegans or Vegetarians]  

[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/87i8ib/the_last_thing_i_write_before_i_forget_how_i_felt/dwd2sy2?utm_source=reddit-android) [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/879wb4/sex_is_a_conversation/dwd317p?utm_source=reddit-android)
