Dope poem, the grammatical variations admittedly took a little too much effort to hit home on my behalf, but the poem did evoke strong feelings of a recent encounter I had with an old friend. Keep up the beauty

The meaning changes yet still remains a message that I'd say so I'd struggle to relate if it was much more extreme. But maybe you could pull one off better idk but thanks for the advice 😊

I always use the classic example of:

Let's eat, children.  
Let's eat children.

Anyway - the necessity of a comma always makes me laugh. But this poem made me sad for some uncanny reason!

Hm, i think the idea of variations on a line can be fun but this falls short due to its sheer simplicity. I'd try it with a sentence that *really* changes when the grammar is smudged.

To me that means that I am sad because of my own actions so that is the strongest line to me haha but thanks for the feedback 

Valid effort at playing with repeated lines. Why the "still" changing the progression? From my reading the shift to I am here section took me a moment and I don't think I caught the intended meaning immediately. Certainly this is a tricky style to write in, but the hanging ", here" doesn't inform as much meaning as the other lines so lost some of the punch. 

I'm sad you are here.   
I'm sad! You are here.   
I'm sad you are, here.   
I'm sad I am, here.   
I'm sad! I am still here!   
I'm sad I am here...   

Now I'm not.  


...   



[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/89mbpu/dating_apps/dwsa49n?utm_source=reddit-android)

[2](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/89ngiq/my_bed/dwsa0ft?utm_source=reddit-android) 

The pause before...