homesick

homesick:
not for the acres and gravel driveway,
not for the hands that feed me,
not for the eggshell walls.
 

i am homesick for what could be.
i am homesick for the future.
 

the old house is full of ghosts,
and the new house is devoid of all.
that house is not a home.
 

i am homesick for the warmth that spreads from the cavity in my chest to the ends of my toes.
i am homesick for the enveloping safety of blankets and of breath.
i am homesick for touches and words,
for a house filled with life,
for a place i cannot live.
 

i am homesick for you
and for the people we could be.
i am homesick for everything you do for me,
i am homesick for riding in your car,
i am homesick for sleeping in your arms,
i am homesick for being able to appreciate you the best way i know how.
 

and every night, torn away, it seems to get worse.
 

i am not homesick for empty shells and useless land,
i am not homesick for charred, collapsed bridges.
i am not homesick for the things i should be homesick for -
my home is you.
   

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EDIT: formatting issues.