Drifting in the desert
The sky is blue
The road is red
The land is empty
And filled with dread
Through the banks of sand
One is easily misled
One wanderer drifts by
One ends up dead
Some men do not remember
Even more cannot forget
One may live to tell the tale
One may die lonely instead
1, 2
Posted Apr 6, 2018, 11:50 AM UTC
21
I like the simple nature of this poem. The rhymes aren't too dramatic or complicated, and it reads almost like a proverb of warning. My only complaint is that it deflates a bit at the end. I think perhaps because it is so proverb like, it comes off a little impersonal therefore I don't feel very connected to the action, since there is no actor to become invested in.
If you're interested a pronoun would personalize/humanize this piece, however on its own its rather lovely. Its like something I'd read as a pre-text to a chapter in a apocalypse novel.