The "Virgin" Sprawl vs. the "Chad" Infill
Posted Apr 6, 2018, 7:46 PM UTC
694175
Chad: Tight pants due to huge package is representative of limited parking, because you live in the city and should be using mass transit, you dip.
119
Virgin: "please come over I have so much parking I just need a friend"
Chad: "You wanna come over bro? Fine, but you're paying for your own parking. It's already lit af here, we ain't beggin."
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Ha I had a friend that bought a house out in the berbs. He always would badger us to come and ‘get DRUNKKKK!’ promising tons of free alcohol. Only problem was, all of us lived in the city, walking distance to dozens of bars. If we took him up on his offer, we had to have someone DD and commit our entire night to hanging out with whoever decided it was worth the 30 minute drive.
We went to his place like twice.
26
When you grow up you drive
-30
Why would you voluntarily subject yourself to the hell that is other drivers?
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Why would you voluntarily subject yourself to the hell that is riding a city bus?
-22
Everywhere worth living has a metro though.
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Imagine thinking public transport means the bus. Suburban and/or low tier city Luddite confirmed
10
IT'S TOO CROWDED, NOBODY WANTS TO LIVE THERE
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Right?
-6
Yeah, there are no crowds in Bumfuck Flyoverville, everyone must want to live there instead.
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Foodland, I think you mean. No farms, no food.
Enjoy those calories. Ass.
-10
But suburbs are inherently taking away land that could be better used as farmland. I don't see the conflict here. Farmers can live where they want, but land in and near cities could be used a LOT more efficiently.
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No, I'm pretty sure Bumfuck's principle exports are methamphetamine and racism.
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Without the farmlands you urbanites will starve to death like in Singapore and Hong Kong!
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Oh no, farms. Too bad they're so irreplaceable. Oh wait. They're everywhere and need subsidies to keep them afloat.
12
Sprawl replaces farm land.
9
They're talking about suburbs, not farm country. Just to be clear. In contrast to suburbs, Farm country has about 6 people sitting in a command station operating threshers by GPS, and about 3 million Latino immigrants picking fruit, so, not really a comparison to sprawling suburbs. This useful land gets constantly eaten away to turn into strip malls and subdivisions in new suburban sprawl..
2
At some point r/neoliberal became a cross between r/EnoughTrumpSpam and NUMTOT, and I am in no way complaining.
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With a fair bit of r/The_Bernanke thrown in
23
A sub with one subscriber and one post with one point?
9
No, I’m saying we worship Papa Bernke like T_D worships trump.
9
I thought I was in r/urban planing until I saw this comment.
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I love that sub because I love roundabouts.
And living in Southern California like half the articles are about how the government is trying to make my beautiful corner of the world is as terrible as possible.
2
It also seems to have siphoned the sane people out of r/urbanplanning.
3
orders off the Chinese language menu at the local food spot
Me IRL
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Where else are you gonna get fuqi feipian
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My wimpy Shanghainese palate can't handle the mala of Sichuan cuisine.
11
ah okay.
Where else can you get a lightly steamed fish topped with tofu, a scallion and a drip of soy sauce
12
Hey now, we do use ginger.
3
its almost like neoliberals see cultural displacement and upzoning as some kind of package deal, like maybe it was a bait-and-switch all along and there's no pretense that the lives of middle America will actually be made better for it
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FYI this user is a white nationalist
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chinese restaurants are literally white genocide
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Every Chinese person is another white person killed.
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Racist alert
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Why don't you go white flight yourself back to the donald now
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What bait-and-switch? Those things can, and do, happen at the same time as middle America is improving
4
Every dish of shui zhu yu a hipster in San Francisco eats literally kills a fry cook in Iowa.
2
As a San Francisco native who absolutely adores the dense, multicultural urban environment, thank you for this.
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Be sure to fight the NIMBYs!
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Broke: trade war
Woke: NIMBY war
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One of my favorite parts about major cities in Brazil (never thought I’d say anything positive about major cities in Brazil haha). Here all residential development is vertical, and it leads to very cool cityscapes, affordable rent, it has a lot more character than suburbs etc. Not that there’s anything wrong with owning a house with a yard, but for major cities forcing the city to expand that way unnaturally (cough cough San Francisco) just doesn’t make sense, and shuts out all but the very wealthy from living anywhere near the city anyways.
In San Francisco you couldn’t get a permit to build a 4 story complex if the presidents life depended on it. Here you can build a 200ft tall luxury apartment complex that fits hundreds of families on a single block on a whim.
13
This is like 100% quality. I have been trying to take the bus in Detroit about 3 miles to commute downtown. It only comes every 30 minutes though so it's a pain in the ass. There's gotta be some virgin metaphor for that.
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Friend zone
6
Same with Columbus Ohio. Sure you can live downtown, but unless your job is downtown too (while many in Columbus area are, it is a much more spread out city) and within walking distance, you'll still need your car. We have a bus system but it's extremely inefficient to get to places that aren't major thoroughfares.
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My bus stop is about 300 feet from my front door, and stops about 4 blocks from my office. It's still a huge pain in the ass because the bus schedule is every 30 minutes and the bus arrival time is about as precise as +/- 10 minutes. Generally it has been alright and only takes about 15 minutes but if miss the bus i either have to wait 30-40 minutes, which is longer than it takes to say "fuck it" and drive and pay $10 for parking.
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Dense mixed use development! 😍
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THICC development
10
Okay, fr leave chipotle out of this. They hurt literally no one except for the random bouts of food poisoning they tend to unleash every now and again; hey, you can't eat that decently without assuming some sort of moral hazard.
Meme would be 2x better if instead of chipotle it was a Panera Bread, a business plan literally built around the revolutionary concept of "what if we took the Starbuck's lunch menu and just have that be ALL the food we serve. Everyday."
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I have an irrational disdain for Panera, primarily due to their advertising of "clean food." As if non-organic food is "dirty." Also their food is stupidly expensive for what you get.
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What I've had off their menu has been tasty, but I'm rarely trying to pay $14 for half a sandwich and a cup of soup.
4
Okay, fr leave chipotle out of this.
BOOOOOOOO
#ANTI-GMOs OUT OUT OUT
DON'T LET THEM HAVE THEIR COATS!
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Put some MF'n respeck on Panda 🐼 Express homie!
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😩😩💦
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I get the sentiments going here, but I'm curious as to what the neoliberal direction is here. As far as I know lots of people like having their own home and yard. What do you do about that? Are there specific zoning laws preventing multifamily housing in certain areas that you'd like to eradicate? Enlighten me.
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Are there specific zoning laws preventing multifamily housing in certain areas that you'd like to eradicate?
What's the most emphatic version of "yes" I can reply with?
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reply with specifics and that would be better than any emphasis markdown allows
Where are we talking?
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Turn parking minimums into parking maximums, erase height limits, erase the requirement for space between buildings.
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Literally every major coastal city (edit: in the US) has malformed restrictions on density. Get specific with a city and I'll get specific with laws.
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Look man I live in bumfuck nowhere in the South. I don't know enough about what you're complaining about unless you help me out
Just like, pick one or two?
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As far as I know lots of people like having their own home and yard.
stop subsidizing this type of lifestyle at the expense of the poor and people might be less into it
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Are there specific zoning laws preventing multifamily housing in certain areas that you'd like to eradicate?
Yeah, like literally everywhere, just look up your local planning documents. Unzoned property where you can just choose to build apartments isn't the norm in any metro area.
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I hate my backyard. It is way to big. It should be 80% smaller.
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H O N G K O N G
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DAMNNNN Look At How in shape Chad is...probably because it's easier for him to walk everywhere, which the Virgin sprawl would be completely unable to do
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SMH at people defending Panda Express and Chipotle.
WE GET YOU, YOU LIVE IN THE SPRAWL.
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love it
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Saved, this just made me cum buckets and I want it for future sesh's
Best meme in a while.
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Not a neolib at all, but I 100% agree.
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Glorious
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I wish the bit about unique architecture was true.
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NIMBYs get OUT of my backyard
wait
It's cool, you don't want them in their backyards either.
The only good NIMBY is NIMBY.
I don't have a back yard.
^ You may not like it, but this is what the ideal living situation looks like