Break Me

V.1 I just wanna hop the fence,
And make my future past tense
I want to burn until there's nothing left
And live only to do it again
Look at me and then you will see
I must break this thing inside of me
If you understood you would agree
That my hatred will succeed
So let me set fire to all I have known
And watch in silence as I bleed
Flames dancing in my eyes,
The fire is reaching out to me
Dancing as I fall onto my knees

---

V.2 I just wanna hop the fence,
And make my future past tense
I want to go up in smoke, burn
Until there is nothing left,
And live only to do it again
Look at me and you will see
I must break this thing inside of me
If you understood you would agree
That my hatred will succeed
So let me set fire to all I have known
And watch in silence as I bleed.
Cause that's the only way I can glo
Brain sizzlin, flames dancing
The fire's reaching out to me
Dancing as I fall to my knees
Face to face, it's my time
You know how the story goes

I was wondering which version has more potential and if so which one should I improve on. I know they both need lots of work which is why I'm here.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8b7wdp/vacant_glassy_eyes/dx64jyi/ https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8bd89y/3_by_karrie_g/dx64urp/