[416] "Trial of Two Germans Who Killed a Clown Started Today"

This is a response to a writing prompt with the title "Trial of Two Germans Who Killed a Clown Started Today".
English isn't my first language so what I'm mainly looking for is improving it the best I can, with the goal of making it sound more natural. Are the dialogues believable? How's the pacing? Do I use adverbs too much/little? Does my grammar check out, etc. This is my best attempt at writing the english I read on a regular basis, but I still feel like I'm missing something that you "naturals" have... maybe you can help me see it.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JCYdHqQHz7MM4rqxFrFUcn28ngFyje_9yOrN_eqKfDg/edit?usp=sharing

Previous critiques:

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